The Vow
by Scribbler17
Summary: An unconventional, private wedding vow.
1. Barry

The Jitters rooftop is far from the highest point in Central City, but Barry finds it still affords him his favorite view of the place he calls home, the city he's dedicated himself to defending. Currently, it gives him a pleasant scene of workers bustling below him, no doubt on their lunch breaks, rushing to grab a bite to eat before heading back to their obligations, a stark contrast to the kids at the playground near the elementary school, laughing breezily without a trouble to bother over. The carefree sight moves him and he can't help breaking into a smile, though admittedly, there's another reason behind his blatant happiness today.

Besides providing a site for an exceptional photograph, the rooftop has a distinguished sentimental value to him, mostly because of Iris. It had been their spot since Iris's barista days, even before he became a speedster, before the secret rooftop rendezvous to meet her when she knew him as the mysterious _Streak._ Hehas fond memories of nights spent on the roof after she would close up shop at the end of her shifts. They would make their way up fourteen flights of stairs, never taking the elevator so they could justify devouring the café's leftover cookies and muffins once they reached the top.

He recalls one night in particular when he was a breath away from confessing how he really felt about her. Their conversation had turned to whether or not they believed in soulmates.

"I don't know, Bear. The idea of the same two people sharing complete love, trust, and commitment for their whole lives?" Iris had contemplated, gathering the last of the muffin crumbs and popping them into her mouth. A heavy silence fell between them momentarily while she watched the sleeping city beneath them. "I mean…I already kind of feel like that with you."

He remembers appreciating that the night had masked his rapidly reddening cheeks, though it did nothing for the thudding pulse in his chest. He shook himself out of his trance, grasping her words, recognizing opportunity, feeling hope. He opened his mouth, almost spoke-

Iris turned to face him, flashing her signature smile, vivid even in the dark. "Who needs a soulmate when you have a best friend, right?"

Though not his favorite rooftop recollection, it reminds him of the extent that his relationship with Iris had evolved, awakens him to so many other things she had uttered on this very roof:

 _"Help me save my friend."_

 _"I have been thinking about you. About us_."

 _"You'd get to see your mom again, your dad, have a great career….even get married."_

It was no question that this was where he and Iris would exchange vows before their wedding day.

" _Before_ the wedding?" Iris had inquired, puzzled, when he caught her by surprise and eagerly presented the idea one afternoon at CCPN.

"A lot of guests are coming, Iris. And while I certainly have no problem declaring my love for you publicly," he bowed his head to press a quick kiss to her lips, shooting a sly glance at her coworkers. "Or _showing_ it, for that matter, I was hoping we could write a different set of vows to exchange beforehand. You know, just us." He shrugged.

"Okay." She smiled against his lips. "I like this idea."

"Next Friday at noon. Our spot." He had winked at her before backing away from her desk slowly, his eyes catching sight of the engagement ring around her finger that confirmed just how far they had come.

The bliss and content he feels when Iris finally appears on the roof is overwhelming, as if it were his true wedding day. He wonders how he'll be able to handle seeing her walk down the aisle tomorrow, clad in white, clutching Joe's arm, making her way toward him to become his wife.

"I took the elevator," she calls out to him. "Judge me."

"Guess that means no wedding cake for you tomorrow," he chides, shaking his head mockingly.

She climbs over the low brick wall, hopping down to join him. There's a bounce in her step as she approaches. She throws her arms around his neck when she reaches him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you right now," she mumbles into his shirt.

He rests his cheek against her head, closing his eyes at the weight of her in his arms. "Everything okay?"

She sighs exasperatedly. "Can we just skip the wedding and time travel to the part where you and I are married?"

"We also have to get through the rehearsal dinner tonight," he points out.

Iris groans. "Eloping seems like a brilliant idea right now."

"Don't let Linda hear you say that." He squeezes her shoulders affectionately. "After all the work she's invested into this."

She lifts her head irritably. "Linda brought this on herself when she insisted on being the official unofficial wedding planner the moment we announced our engagement."

"She means well, Iris," Barry assures her.

"She does," Iris agrees. "She's done an amazing job putting everything together. And driving me insane," she chuckles.

"Well, you'll get to return the favor when she and Wally eventually tie the knot."

"She's already taken the role of Bridezilla on my behalf. You would think it was her wedding tomorrow instead of mine." Her phone chimes with a text message alert. "That's probably her right now, blowing up my phone reminding me not to be late to my last dress fitting later."

"I can race you over to the boutique after this," Barry offers.

"And have Linda breathe fire at me for letting you within a mile of the dress the day before the wedding?" she jokes. "Don't you want me alive tomorrow?"

"I have technically seen you in a wedding dress before," he cocks his head deviously.

"Is it weird for me to be jealous of another Iris I've never met?"

He laughs and kisses her forehead. "Don't be. My Iris is the best Iris."

"Anyways," she smirks. "What's the real deal here, Bear? I'm having trouble believing that we're writing two different sets of vows at your suggestion."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just surprised you were willing to take the extra effort to do so. Writing vows once is hard enough as is. Are you sure this incredibly romantic gesture isn't in fact a clever ploy to hear my vows beforehand so you can try to upstage me tomorrow?"

"No, because I want to go first," he grins, hands in his pockets.

"Oh, good. You've already come to terms with the fact that I'm going to make you cry," she gloats. She reaches into her purse to pull out a meticulously folded piece of notepaper with an air of superiority. "I _hand wrote_ these, baby. Didn't feel right to type up my wedding vows like I would an article for work."

"I didn't write anything at all," Barry says, even more smug.

She raises her eyebrows. "No?"

"Nope. I've wanted to say this for years. Been ready way before you, Love."

Her eyes narrow and it's possibly the most adorable expression he's ever seen. They did this often, argue pettily over which one of them loved the other more. But he's right: he has years on her and there's nothing she can do about it.

"Getting a little cocky, aren't we?" She tucks the paper away, folding her arms across her chest. "Fine then. Let's hear what you've got, Allen."

"You're going to be an Allen in less than twenty-four hours," he reminds her, taking her hands, bringing the one that sports her engagement ring to his lips. "So calling me that won't have competitive merit anymore."

" _West_ -Allen," she corrects, but she softens at his touch, already more somber.

He looks down, rubbing his thumbs absentmindedly over the back of her hands. The reality of the situation abruptly overcomes him, his confidence suddenly replaced with vulnerability. Where he was just teasing her, he finds himself nervous to articulate what he's thought about her for more than half his life.

He wills himself to look her directly in the eyes, letting go of her hands briefly to interlock their fingers together.

"I've never been that great with words," he starts. "You were always the writer, and when it comes to you, I'm usually speechless, whether it's because I'm amused by you, charmed by you, impressed with you, in awe of you.

"It's so easy to love you. The hard part is conveying it in a way that does it justice. So this is a bit of a stretch for me, but I need to say it, because you deserve to hear it, over and over again. I owe it to you to at least try to tell you how I feel about you, how you make me feel.

He takes a deep breath. "I'm not sure when exactly I realized that I loved you, Iris. I've told you before, on that Christmas Eve that I'll never forget, that it was before I even knew what love was, but I thought about it: when, really, did I start to love you?

"Was it when you stood up for me in fifth grade after Tony Woodward pushed me off the swings? Was it when you talked me into entering the middle school science fair because you were so sure I was going to win?

He looks away, pondering silently, before swallowing, meeting her eyes again. "Was it when you believed my story about the Man in the Lightning when everyone else saw a traumatized boy who lost his mother?

He feels her tighten her grip on their intertwined hands. It's the encouragement he needs, and he gathers the strength to continue.

"The truth is, I still don't know. I can't pinpoint the moment when I started to grasp that what I feel when it comes to you is love.

"Since becoming The Flash, I've learned that I don't need to put a time stamp on these sorts of things. The concept of time changed for me after I was struck by lighting. I mean, only after that did I realize that the impossible was possible. Only then did I know that time could be travelled across, could be undone. So I'm learning to embrace that and accept that I'm here to love you, always. I can't define a beginning to when I loved you.

He beams. "And that's okay because I know there sure as hell won't be an ending.

"It's like what I feel for you is…timeless in a way. Only it literally _is_ timeless," he chuckles lightly, before going pensive again.

"Is it a coincidence that we found each other in this timeline, even after it was all changed?"

His eyes crinkle lovingly. "I still found you, Iris," he breathes.

"Is it an accident that in some other universe, on some other earth, our doppelgängers are together, married before we are? I remember you doubting the idea in the past, but that sounds like soulmates to me.

"I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we're only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

"I know you have those moments where you wish I had told you how I felt about you earlier. And I would be lying to you if I said I didn't also feel a twinge of regret from time to time. But I would always tell you that now is the best timing, and I still believe it. Maybe it's easier for me because I can undo time, but even if I can, even if I did, I'm not stupid. No matter how fast I move, time's going to keep ticking away. Time doesn't stop. Time won't ever stop. But when I'm with you, Iris, when I'm with you— _it feels like it does_.

His smile widens. "Sometimes, I really do feel like I'm here just to love you. It sounds far-fetched, but it's true. Yeah, I have a duty as The Flash to protect the people of this city. But, Iris…it's all because of you.

"In many ways, you're the one saving the city just as much as I am. You save me, Iris. I meant it when I told you that without you there wouldn't be The Flash.

"Remember that one night, when you asked me what it felt like to be lost inside the Speed Force? I didn't really have an answer then. I still can't fully explain it, but it was…euphoric, or enchanting in a way to see my mom again. It was like she was calling me to leave everything, my family and friends, my home, my own body behind.

"I was so tempted to. That was the power of being close to my mother again. Even though I knew it wasn't really her, the manifestation of her in the Speed Force was enough for me to consider it.

"But it was nothing like the power of you. Of _your_ voice, Iris. The mere sound of you calling to me rescued me that night.

"You brought me back. You always bring me back. You ground me. You're…home for me. For a lot of people, marriage is the start of a new journey, but…I already belong to you.

His eyes bore into hers. "And it feels like I'm finally going home."

He lets out a breath that he wasn't even aware he was holding as he steps back shortly to take her reaction in. Iris stares at him, wordless, quiet tears streaming down her face. He lets go of her hands to bring his own to her cheeks, using his thumbs to brush her tears away. She embraces him, pulls him close, burying her head in his chest, astounded for a minute before murmuring, "I can't believe I'm admitting this Barry, but I think you may have upstaged me."

Disclaimer: There are two lines that aren't mine. ("No matter how fast I move, time's going to keep ticking away. Time doesn't stop. Time won't ever stop. But when I'm with you, Iris, when I'm with you— it feels like it does.") and ("I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."). I initially thought they were both from the comics, and wanted to incorporate them, but actually only the first one is. The second one is from _The Chaos of Stars_ by Kiersten White.


	2. Iris

He's still firmly hugging Iris to him, until he senses her body trembling with sobs.

He pulls away to fully inspect her, hands on her shoulders.

"Iris, come on. You were the one who was supposed to make me cry, remember?" he jokes, tucking her hair behind her ear to soothe her.

She only weeps harder, her face crumpling as she leans into his touch. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I really didn't think I was going to lose it."

"Guess it's a good thing we did this to practice for The Big Day, yeah?" he muses. "I imagine you don't want to ruin your makeup or your dress tomorrow, in front of everyone, too..."

"I probably look like such a mess right now," she laughs through her sobs, dabbing at her now pink eyes.

"Just a little bit, which means I _really_ did a good job," he teases, smirking.

She throws a playful punch, still hiccuping despite her giggles, before her eyes abruptly scrunch closed as tears continue to flow down her face.

"Iris," he starts, suddenly concerned. "What's wrong?"

Her chest heaves frantically.

"I just…really love you," she sniffs, her voice small, a simple attestation for her striking, tearful affect. "And I can't believe this is happening. I guess it's finally hitting me. Months of wedding planning and dress fittings and Linda pestering, but only now do I realize that _we're getting married_."

She beams at him: her rosy cheeks and watery gaze couldn't diminish that radiant smile in the slightest. Nothing could.

The weight of her words settles over him. While he had loved her for as long as he could remember, he too had never imagined he would be so lucky as to wed her. With great effort, he blinks away his own tears, so as not to elicit further emotion from her. If he even attempted to explain to her how he also can't grasp that from tomorrow onward, they were to be husband and wife, he knows he'll fall apart.

"Yeah, we are," he breathes, and that's as much as he can vocalize.

She swallows audibly, wiping her tears with the back of her hand before pulling the square of notepaper from her purse again. She peeks at him timidly.

"I know it's so lame, reading from a paper…" she mumbles, embarrassed, even though she had bragged about handwriting her vows earlier.

He feels himself glow, overwhelmed with love for her, and love for the rare instances this shy, hesitant side of Iris emerged. It's such a contrast to the superiority and cheek she displayed before he professed his vows that he can't suppress a shameless smile.

She unfolds the sheet with care, her wrists shaking slightly. He watches her keenly, reaches out a hand to lace his fingers in hers again, determined to ease her tension. When she looks up at him in response to the contact, he offers a supportive nod. She reciprocates with a more assured squeeze before beginning.

"I remember the night you first came to live with us," she reads. "It's etched into my memory. I remember it so vividly, as if it happened yesterday. My dad came home at 3 AM, with his arm around you. I was happy to see you of course, as I always am, but I was also worried, afraid, confused. All my dad told me was that you were going to stay with us for a while.

"I had no idea at the time that a while really meant weeks, months, and then eventually years."

She glances at him momentarily, but it's enough for him to catch her uncertainty. He knows how to read her, and he can tell she's conflicted about touching on the subject of his mother's death.

He also knows he trusts her more than anyone, even more than he trusts himself. After all, it was her unwavering faith in him that powered him, when his own confidence in himself wasn't enough.

He needs her to understand that, to recognize that he knows she would never hurt him. So he rests a hand on her cheek, coercing her to hold his gaze, trying to convey the words to her with his eyes: _It's okay_.

She seems to appreciate his message, as she places her hand over his, then shifts her head slightly to kiss his palm before continuing.

"I know that was one of the worst moments of your life," she whispers, still cradling his hand to her face. "And maybe it's selfish or even a little twisted of me to say this, but in some ways, I consider that one of the best moments of my life.

"Not for the reason you think. God knows I still cry when I think about how broken you were that night, how wounded you looked, how hopeless you felt." As a testament to her genuine empathy, more tears spill from her eyes and cascade over her pained expression, which he promptly smooths away with his thumb. He doesn't even need to see them to believe her.

"Because it was the night you came to us, _to me_." She manages a smile in defiance of her weeping.

"Because it was the beginning of the strongest friendship, a friendship that I've never shared with anyone else, one that I know I couldn't experience with anyone other than you.

"And I'm here today to tell you I'm so glad that friendship became something else. I've been able to love you as my best friend, my longtime companion, my partner, my significant other…"

"Now I have the chance to love you as my husband."

Her grin after reciting the word husband is so brilliant, so broad it almost gives no indication that she had been lachrymose just minutes ago. He _still_ hasn't found a scientific basis for how it always compels him to smile back.

"Barry, you are the closest thing to me. Your happiness is my bliss. Your pain is my heartache."

She's firm in her declaration: "Because my soul is connected to yours."

"I remember once I told you, on this very roof, that I didn't believe in soul mates."

She laughs softly to herself, marveling that he too recalled that same night on the rooftop years ago in his vows, as though it were further proof that they belonged together.

"I haven't forgotten your reaction. Looking back at it now, it makes so much sense. You were shocked, maybe even a little crushed that I didn't think we were. But Bear, I _knew_ we were, I just didn't know _how_. I doubted the idea of soulmates because I already had you, not realizing that you were and are my soulmate.

"And as time went by, you only made me believe more and more."

She pauses before an apprehensive, slight inhalation.

"Since I mentioned an awful memory for you, it's only fair that I disclose one my worst memories. You wouldn't remember it, because you were in a coma."

She's misty-eyed again.

"Barry…those were the worst days- _months_ I've ever encountered. I thought I had lost you forever. I turned into the darkest version of myself. Because I lost the light in my life that was you.

"When you woke up, when I saw you walk into Jitters, looking like you came out of a dream, as if you hadn't died, as if your heart hadn't stopped-"

Her voice breaks and she's quivering. It's all he can do to take her in his arms, wrap himself around her, and rest his chin over the crown of her head.

"Iris," he murmurs into her hair. "You feel that? It's still beating."

He feels her fingertips pierce into his back.

They clutch each other for a silent minute, during which he's only aware of the sound of his own heart pounding through his core, as well as the rhythm of her pulse against his chest. She eventually stirs beneath him.

"I need to finish, dammit," she chuckles, sniffling.

"Yeah, I know this round isn't over yet, but I'm pretty sure I've won the whole 'Who Can Keep It Together' game," he jests, wanting to make her laugh.

She does, to his relief, and appears to be in better spirits, at least enough to carry on.

"When you woke up, when I saw you walk into Jitters, looking like you came out of a dream, as if you hadn't died, as if your heart hadn't stopped," she repeats. "I knew in that moment, that there was no way I could ever be separated from you again. I realized that as long as I was alive, I needed you to be too. I leaped into your arms and held you close, so that no one or nothing could ever take you from me again.

She draws a breath in. "This is me leaping into your arms again, casting myself into a marriage to you, a lifetime with you."

She extends her hand to grasp his once more. "And I never want to let go."

"You know me better than anyone else in this world, and you somehow still manage to love me. There is a part of me today, here, right now that can't believe that I'm the one who gets to marry you.

"You are the most selfless, generous, pure-hearted person I have ever known," she attests. "For someone who has had every reason to shutdown, to turn people away, to be angry at the world, you instead have your light.

"I want to wake up to that light everyday. I want it to be the last thing I see before I close my eyes each night.

"Remember the infamous news byline? Iris West-Allen?

"When I first read it, I was upset," she admits. "Because I knew I loved you, and I didn't need some stupid newspaper from the future to tell me that.

"It wasn't fair for us to get together just because it was written in another timeline. It wasn't fair to our extraordinary love story. And it sure as hell wasn't fair to you.

"No way was I going to let you believe for even a second that I settled for you because that's what fate wanted.

Her raven eyes meet his. "It's what I wanted. I want you. I choose you. I don't love you because I was destined to: I'm destined for you because I love you.

"All my life, I've never been anywhere without feeling like I should be some place else, like I hadn't found where I belonged. But when I'm with you, steadfast and solid, I know I'm in the right place. The _only_ place where I know for sure who I am. Wherever I belong, Barry Allen...it's with you."

This time, he's crying, the tears he's withheld throughout the entirety of their exchange falling freely. He lets them, and now she's one to take his face in her hands, dropping her vows in the process. The paper flutters gracefully in the breeze until it rests between them at their feet.

"Iris," he sighs. "That was…." His voice trails off, too moved to find an appropriate description.

She doesn't say a word, only searches his face.

He brings his forehead down to hers.

"You have to keep it together tomorrow, okay?" he coaxes. "Because if you don't, I won't."

She presses into his touch, closing her eyes with a smile that makes his breath catch one more time. "Deal."

Disclaimer: The line, "I don't love you because I was destined to: I'm destined for you because I love you." was influenced by a line from _Worlds Apart_ by SilverGlimmers: /works/4463468/chapters/13895500. The line, "All my life, I've never been anywhere without feeling like I should be some place else, like I hadn't found where I belonged. But when I'm with you, steadfast and solid, I know I'm in the right place. The only place where I know for sure who I am. Wherever I belong, Barry Allen…it's with you." is also taken from the _The Life Story of The Flash_ , and I wanted to incorporate that as well.


End file.
